I haven’t talked about therapy for a while so I thought I would share something that Randy has been working on with me.
If you have ever known a teenager, been a teenager or heard about a teenager, then you know that this development period is typically known as a period of them being mostly focused on themselves. That is a well documented psychological understanding about teenagers. I adore my teenager. He is an amazing person and very self focused and that tells me he is developing normally!
Another word for this self focus is “entitlement”. It’s the attitude of “I can if I want!” Know what I mean?
What I have learned from Randy is that people always have this stunted perspective in certain areas of their life. Take me for example where food is concerned. Here are some of the “entitlements” I have allowed myself. Randy calls them the “I CANS”. Such as…
- “I can skip workouts and expect myself to get fit if I want!”
- “I can go to McDonalds and Super Size my meal if I want!”
- “I’m too busy/tired/stressed and I can eat whatever I feel like if I want!”
You get the idea. Can’t you just hear this type of thing being said in a snotty tone? We all have entitlements. Nobody is immune.
The goal therefore, is to turn the “I CANS” into “I CAN’TS”. For example
- “I can’t skip workouts and expect that I will get as fit as I want to be”.
- “I can’t eat fast food and expect that my body will release weight”.
- “I can’t allow myself to get so busy/tired/stressed that I make poor food choices”.
Once you take your “I CANS” and turn them into “I CAN’TS”, you start to use these things to make a plan of action on how you are going to make them work for you. It’s one thing to say “I CAN’T” on something but without a plan, they are just words.
Tomorrow I’ll share how you plan this out and make these things actionable.