This Week

I’m mindful of the fact that people read my blog and I’m grateful for it. I have no doubt though, that my blog posts are not very happy and upbeat this week. I’m not myself and I know it. So if you are looking for some upbeat peppy weight loss blogging from me today I’m sorry to say it’s not in the cards. Maybe tomorrow. 

I have struggled over the last 4 days or so with eating. Rather than going on a binge, I am not eating. I don’t think I have had 400 calories today. About the same yesterday. And the day before. I have missed both workouts with my trainer this week because of bad headaches. And I’m depressed. I just can’t seem to get it together. I’m sort of a little scared for myself right now. I’ll come through this but right now it’s very tough. 

This is the hidden part of abuse. The part where I would rather just go to sleep and stay asleep. I was told today that maybe I should learn to have no expectations that way I would never be disappointed. Sounds like escapism to me but he said it is Buddhism. 

Anyway, sorry I’m being a bummer blogger right now. The fog will lift when it’s ready. I don’t need any tough love right now. I just need comfort. And if you believe in it, prayer too please. 

 

S.

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8 Responses to This Week

  1. john says:

    I do believe in prayer, and will pray for you, and other survivors of abuse at the hands of those who should have nurtured them. And I will encourage you to eat healthily. Whether it’s Christian, Buddhism, Humanist, “nun of the above” there is a real mind/body/spirit connection and your’s are all “down” right now. Forcing clean food and lots of water into your body should help your mind and spirit and then when they rebound look out gym!

  2. Rick says:

    Yeah, take care of yourself, Sandra. If this goes for more than another day or two, I’d definitely let your health care provider(s), counselor, trainers, etc… know what’s going on. And yes, prayers work, too. 🙂 Thanks for blogging this.

  3. Gretchen says:

    Sandra, I’m sorry that you are feeling down. Part of your not feeling well is the fact that you aren’t eating. That is probably what is giving you the headaches. I agree with John above, get some good nutritious food in your body with some water. Slowly you will start to feel better. You can make a choice to get yourself out of this place. How do you want to feel today? What choice are you going to make? I do whole heartidly believe in prayer, so I will start and keep praying for you to heal your heart.

    do you want to meet for a walk this weekend? or maybe just coffee? I would be happy to.

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